Time may change me

Hello friend.

My blog gives the impression that I’m slacking. My posts have decided to take a vacation without my knowing. Some people I work with had asked my why I haven’t been blogging. My reply to these unexpected readers…I was busy. To quote one of my Heroes Jane Austen, “Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.” When ever I feel overwhelmed by life’s demands I always can hear the strong clear voice of Fanny Price say this memorable line.

However, as of late, my life seems to be full of busy some things instead of nothings. I was born with the mind to go through life with a die-hardism objective. I find change extremely difficult. I look to the past and compare the present to it with a lack of hope.

Presently, I find myself comfortable with the outcomes of my recent stresses.

Between all of the packing and unpacking, moving and finding new roots, and the goodbyes to a much loved friend as she left her wedding reception coupled, I feel completely happy with my present changes.

One of my favorite movies is French Kiss. I think that the protagonist Kate and I are kindred spirits. She is loyal, stubborn, and knows exactly what she wants in life. Her fears corner her into life habits. She also finds herself sincerely surprised when there is anything that doesn't follow her plans.

At the end of the movie her struggles are all mollified by the new life she was in. She was happy, standing in a vineyard that smelled like grapes and lavender while being held by Kevin Kline. (Not too shabby!!)

I didn’t know 6 months ago that my best friend would marry a man that she wasn’t interested in dating. Luckily Shannon and McWayne fell into a perfect love with each other. I couldn’t imagine a better match for my friend. He is kind, generous, spiritual, and supportive.

I was surprised by how many people I had at disposal when I asked for help. My move was so quick. I had so many volunteers that I had to send people home. I have had to make schedules for people to help me pack and unpack. I’ve had so many loved ones supporting me.

I had no idea a few months ago that I would be moving into a smaller bedroom with a small dog and two roommates. I was trying to get my own place. I was furniture shopping. I was planning my color choices for each room. I was buying things that would only fit into my own dream place. But that didn’t happen. I’m living in my old apartment complex that I moved out of into a larger living arrangement. But I notice I’m smiling as I’m unpacking. I’m at perfect ease when I talking to my roommates. It feels natural as though I’ve been here for years. I feel as though my life has lead up to be here. To be sitting on the floor next to a bed frame that is only half way put up. Happy. I’m so happy.

I feel as though I’ve been repotted and immediately my life is blooming. My roots are already deep and sheltered.