This and that, and finding time for it all.

I’m embarrassed by how little I’ve written over the past few months.  I planned to keep track of my progress and trials while attending UCMT, but my schedule has made other plans for me.  Although busy, I have been finding time to write. About once a week I have been doing mini-creative writing assignments so I can keep my creative juices flowing.  They’ve been fun but this week I thought I’d update my blog instead. 

My life, as I know it:

School is amazing, exhausting, and most of the time feels all-consuming.   I’m still doing well in the night program at Utah College of Massage Therapy.  I made it over halfway with top marks and high attendance.  This past semester, I hit a wall, an emotional wall that I constantly had to motivate myself to get past it every day just to get to school.  I had a teacher, who is one of the coolest people I’ve met in school but teaches in a way that I don’t understand as much as I want to.  Actually, the whole class struggles.  We took a very long, quite hard anatomy comprehensive test at the end of our 3^rd semester.  I got the highest score in the class…a “C”.  Our grading scale is “A”, “B”, “C”, or fail – this test was a self-esteem destroyer and I felt as though the preparation given for the test was...lacking.  I was extremely disappointed with myself and how the test was handled.  I received a “B” in the class overall and I’m proud of the hard work and effort I put into earing that “B”, but I can’t help but feel wounded with a ruined 4.0 that I have religiously and lovingly been taking care of. 

I’ve started my internship, doing Sunday morning clinic at UCMT.  I struggle getting up early, spending even more time that I don’t have at the school, and there are days where my nerve/muscle/bone issues cause quite a riot – but I love it.  I love massage therapy so much.  I look forward to having a successful clinic every week and I feel excited and blessed about my upcoming career.  There is something beautiful about being busy in the employ of comfort and healing.  People are always happy to see me when I’m working and that makes a HUGE difference in how I feel about my time spent in the program.  Every session feels like a pat on the back, every new client is a chance for me to share my education, compassion, and strength, and every compliment become words of encouragement as I struggle through my busy schedule. 

UCMT has helped me in many areas of my life, not just professionally.  There have been many frustrations, emotional/physical insecurities, hurt feelings, and inadequacies of mine that are addressed almost daily in school – all of them being worked on instead of being pushed aside.  It’s been a very raw, rebuilding experience for me.  I’ve been humbled, educated, and then empowered to be better in many aspects of my life and I know this program is helping me become the person I wish to be. 

I got a new car!  2012 Dodge Caliber… and I love her.  She is so beautiful, dependable, and a little bad-ass, if I say so myself.  I feel blessed to be able to afford this new car.  I named her Blackbird after the Beatles’ song. 

Halloween was peaceful and slightly uneventful.  I celebrated with my friend Jen Hoyt, and her family a few weeks earlier for a children’s party they threw.  Everything was really cute and her whole family went as Star Wars characters.  They all looked amazing.  I went as Cleopatra.  I borrowed a headdress and necklace from a friend.  On Halloween I dressed up as a Deer for work. I borrowed antlers from another friend.  Total money spent this Halloween…zero dollars.  :D  I made Caramel Apple cupcakes and everyone loved them.  I love caking and I was excited make some for work.

My new job is still going well.  I really love working at Pro Star. The owners are smart, kind, and very hard working.  I work in a small group of about 10 women.  We are all power-houses, alpha female- go-getters.  Hard working and tough, smart and experienced.  It’s really nice working with people that care about details and get things done without the need to babysit, or having to report to someone about my own responsibilities.  It’s generally busy and fun.  I’m very happy working there.

I do miss the free time I used have, spending time with my family and friends…just getting out of the house or office or school.  I “shop” at gas stations way too frequently. Florissant lighting, desks, and uncomfortable chairs are going to be the end of me.  

I have 2 weeks off school in December (Hallelujah!) and graduation in March will be here before I know it.  I’m beyond grateful for the support I’ve been given during this part of my life from my loved ones.  They listen to me complain about the dumbest things and they help wipe away tears of exhaustion or drama and they celebrate my small victories and keep me involved in the meaningful and beautiful parts of their lives.  They make all of my little adventures and experiences feel important and worthwhile.  I don't know what I'd do without them.