Friday, November 2, 2012

The Spindle, by Rie Nichols


Chapter 1
The Graveyard Eden
The small village of Navarre held one graveyard, and even though the citizens thought themselves not prone to idle gossip, there were plenty of occasions when the Graveyard of Eden was said to be “haunted”. With all of its large stone statues and elaborately carved tombs the graveyard carried a type of forced reverence upon all that entered its surrounding rod iron gates. The rare passerby would take glimpses of the hollowed grounds, but they stayed their distance when the setting sun left deep shadows that rolled across the grass and cobblestone walkways. Even the residents in Navarre, who would go to Eden to remember loved ones lost, didn’t linger. And the Graveyard of Eden would close her gates every night at ten o’clock to keep the peace for those who rested there.

It happened once before, people began to say about the great lightning storm that hit about a decade prior. The town lost power for days and businesses shut down. Neighborhoods were left flooded. The graveyard Eden had shown the worst aftermath; tombs were left cracked and broken and large patches of grass were scorched off the ground. The storm even claimed five lives; all directly outside the cemetery gates.

Three days after the storm, a local found a child in an open grave. Though comatose, dehydrated, and her hair left stark white from what must have been a lightning strike, she was still alive. The girl was taken to the hospital and remained there during the weeks it took to clear rubble and replant the grass. It wasn’t until the graveyard’s gates were opened to the public that the girl was released to at home care.

Since that frightening storm, Ohio’s bad weather had passed by the town. Eden’s grounds had lain quiet during that time.

It was a shock to all when statues started to fall over and the faces of the artistic tombs were being smashed into rubble over night. There was no forced entry on the locked gate. Everyone knew that there was no way to climb the tall and narrow fence that protected the grounds. And still, as it were, the graves continued to be vandalized. Talk on how to keep the Graveyard of Eden safe circulated from house to house. In the end the village turned to their trusted watchmen.

Harold Rasmussen was a large man with a gentle smile. He had combed over grey hair that he had cut every month at the nearby barber school. He was a humbly dressed man that normally had some kind of dessert stain on his loosely tucked shirts. Harold was in his late sixty’s and yet he still had a soft hint of a childhood stutter. He was well liked and enjoyed his social outings playing bingo in the church on Drover Street. If anyone could have talent at bingo, it was Harold and nobody seemed to mind his luck when he would win the bingo money pot every month.

They knew that most of his winnings ended up going to their children and grandchildren anyways. Harold was known to spend his earnings, and much of his retirement money, buying treats from the dairy for the neighborhood children.

Most people thought he was a good friend to have around; he would take homemade lunches to the widows around his block, he would dye hundreds of Easter eggs every year for the Navarre Easter Egg Hunt-a-Rama, and he would plow the snowy narrow roads with his truck in the early hours of the morning after a blizzard would pass through.

He was also one of the most respected watchmen of the Navarre-Massillon neighborhood watch. He presided over every meeting the watch held in the last forty-some years and over these last few months, it wasn’t rare for Harold to hear people talk about the strange things that were happening in the local graveyard.

The villagers started to spread news about a new gang that was begging to form. But these whispers didn’t bother Harold. The rumors that were getting on his nerves were the ones about ghosts. He didn’t waste his time talking about make believe and he didn’t believe in the paranormal.

Not everyone was on the same line with Harold, there was one woman in particular that seemed to believe in any story that involved the paranormal, and that was Mary Satoh. Mary was the village’s herbalist and seemed to know a lot of history about the graveyard. She would share stories with anyone who would listen while she talked about ghosts that wandered the cemetery at night. In her store on Wednesday nights she would have sharing time. Children would sit on her special circle rug and quietly eat popsicles while Mary would share a tales of make believe. The overly imaginative things that Mary could think up always took Harold by surprise.

Oddly enough, Harold and Mary were kind of a couple. Though Harold didn’t agree with Mary’s enthusiasm in the supernatural, she would tell one story that made Harold laugh every time. The story was about a ghost that only spoke through a hand puppet. It wasn’t the story that brought his laughter; it was the sound of Mary’s voice as she tried to speak with a British accent.

Harold couldn’t believe his luck in fining Mary at such a late age. During the years that his college friends started to settle down he wondered why he never found his soul mate. Instead of marriage Harold joined the war and decided that he would hold his fire on marriage, little did he know that he would wait until the ripe age of 59 to find the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Mary was everything he’d been looking for.

Mary was not as open about her feelings towards Harold as he was about her, she would never confirm if they were in a relationship, but people could tell that she loved him too. She would bring over her old family medicines to his house whenever his joint pain would act up. She helped him with his gardening every summer and often cooked him dinner with the delicious harvest that they grew together in his back yard. They were always with each other and they were rarely seen around town without being hand in hand.
Mary’s father had been buried in Eden and Harold took her there a couple times a week to walk by the tomb and pay their respects. Although Mary’s father passed away long ago she never missed an opportunity to go. On a breezy morning in March, they found that her father’s tomb had been violently smashed, leaving shards of stone scattered about the grounds. Since her father’s resting place was the largest tomb there, the mess was substantial, the expertly carved tomb that was well known by all, now broken and scattered.

The only thing left upright was an artistically carved statue of an angel. It stood royally with weapons and jewelry; wearing a triangular pendant around his neck, his wrists held thick bracelets, across his palms he held a thin sword, he still stood an untouched warrior. The statue looked powerful and honored to be standing by the ruined tomb he had been protecting. A few feet away from the angel stood a stone pillar that marked the center of the graveyard. Without the tomb standing next to it the pillar, the angel looked strangely out of place.

Mary picked up a small gold cylinder out of the rubble, whipped off the dust and held it close to her chest. She leaned against the pillar looking winded.

“Mary,” Harold said, “I’m so sorry th-that this happened.”

Mary looked at the statues face without blinking. Tears were sliding silently down her rounded cheeks. Harold watched as they fell leaving dark circles on her red scarf. Harold spoke softly, “I know we can have this fixed. We can make it exactly like it u-used to be. I’m sure that we have a picture of it somewhere.”

Mary didn’t reply but her gaze followed the angel’s downward glance to the long sword. Mary reached out and trailed the sword with her gloved fingertips.

“I’m sure Jared Hales could fix up a new tomb for us by next summer.” Harold continued, “He is the best sculpture on the east side. I can call him tonight to see if he c-can-”

“It can’t be fixed.” Mary interrupted softly. Her voice sounded sad and absolute.

Harold leaned over and took Mary’s small hand in his. “Mary, I’ll make this right.” He promised.

Mary lifted her gaze from the angel’s sword and looked into Harold’s face; a soft smile lifted the corners of her lips. “I need to get home.” She said, “I have to make some calls.”

“Calls about the tomb?” Harold asked.

Mary nodded.

“I can make the calls if you don’t feel up to it Mary.” Harold suggested.

“I think I should do it. But I would love some company.” Mary said giving Harold’s hand a gentle squeeze.

*

Mary made many calls through out the day; all were of people that Harold had never heard of. Probably some distant family members in Japan, he wasn’t surprised to hear Mary speak Japanese on some of the calls – only her immediate family lived in Ohio. Yet, he was surprised by the calls when he heard her speak French on three calls and once in Spanish to a man named Javier. Harold loyally stayed by her side and made sure that her untouched tea never chilled.

He left her that late afternoon with a long hug.

*

Harold’s phone rung after a particularly loud thunder clap on March twenty ninth, He answered Mary’s call. She said she needed to leave town for a few days.

“Would you like a travel partner?” Harold thought of the passport he hadn’t used in years. He walked towards his nightstand to look for it.

“No, that’s ok,” she said with a pause, “It’s not really something that would interest you.”

“Oh?” He said. “I’m sure where ever you want to go would be just fine with me.”

“I’m going to go and see,” she moved the phone to her other ear, “some family.”

“I didn’t know that you had so m-many family members. I guess I’ve only heard about your family here.”

“They’re not close relatives, but they will help me figure out what to do with the tomb.”

“What to do with it?”

“Yes, they might want to move it. I just want to make sure that we all agree on the location. It might take a while to decide. Harold?” Mary paused again.

“Yes?”

“Will you see if Hales can design a new tomb, just in case we are keeping it here?”

“I already called him.”



“Good, that’s good. I’m sorry Harold, but I have to get going.”

“Well call me if you n-need anything. I’ll just be at home picking out some good spots for our tomato seeds and waiting to hear from you.” He put the found passport back in the drawer.

“Harold…I love you.”

“I love you too.” Harold replied simply. There was no noise coming from the other end of the line. “Mary, are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m ok,” Her voice sounded hesitant, “Harold; I want you to watch out for that graveyard.”

Harold gave a small laugh. “Don’t worry about it. Everything w-will be fine.”

“I mean it; please just keep a watch out. I have a really bad feeling.”

“I will Mary.” He insured. “Do you want to talk while you pack?”

“I’m already packed. I’m traveling light.”

“You’re already packed? This must be important.”

“It is Harold.” She had tears in her voice, “I’ll miss you.”

“I already miss you. Have a safe trip sweetheart. Call me when you can.”

*

Harold’s willingness to serve his local community over the past years gave him rank over the coveted phone tree directory. The next morning he called every volunteer listed and set up the next Navarre-Massillon Neighborhood Watch gathering.

With a couple meetings over the next few days, having developed well thought out plans over some pot luck snacks, they decided to have a volunteer patrol the Graveyard of Eden every night until the culprit was caught.

Most of the watchmen were afraid to walk Eden at night, what with all of the ghost stories that have been floating around, but there were still a few who volunteered to take turns with a night shift. The members of the neighborhood watch looked in awe as Harold raised his hand to volunteer for every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night.

A calendar was drawn up with everyone’s shift listed for the next month. Today being the last day in March, and a Friday, Harold took a few lemon bars for the road and drove to the Graveyard equipped with the gate keys and one overlarge yellow flashlight.

*

Harold pulled up to the old shed in the back of the cemetery. He brushed cobwebs off the inventory list that was nailed to the inner wall and searched for something to help clear out the broken rubble. The zipper on his Neighborhood Watch jacket rebelliously slid down allowing the night air to sneak in and bring a chill.

Mandy Schroder had made all of the Navarre – Massillon Neighborhood Watch jackets for those that would patrol at night. Even with the color of green being overly bright in the day, the color would grow oddly dull under the moonlight; giving no reflective protection to the passing cars in the neighborhood. The back of the jacket was covered with the letters spelling out “N-M, Watchers” in large black letters adding to the dullness of color a camouflaged look. Mandy made Harold’s jacket “extra roomy in the tummy region” which probably why the zipper never stayed in place. Harold zipped his jacket and started to pull out tools that would help him clear the grounds.

He made a deal with Jared that he would have the mess cleared up by sunrise; that way Jared could measure the ground in the morning and start working on a design for the new tomb.

Harold pushed an empty three-wheeled barrel along the hilly pathways until he reached the out skirts of the broken rubble. The wheels rolled smooth and quiet across the lush ground and came to an easy stop beside the center pillar of the cemetery.

Looking down, Harold found a piece of granite that used to be the keystone of the tomb’s archway. It was missing a large chunk of the inscription, but Harold had a great memory, and after reading it so many times before he knew what it had said:

“The Satoh family destiny does not lie here, but exists beyond this point of resting. Not even death can remove the bonds of this family. When one shall fall, one will rise to redeem what’s worth saving. EMG”

Harold laid the plaque into the bottom of the barrel with a sorrowful sigh. He started to work; putting jagged rocks and broken slabs of stone on top of the keystone. When the barrel started to fill up Harold’s back began to feel the weight of what he had been lifting. It was not long before he had to take a break and stretch his sore muscles.

He took a smooched treat out of his jacket pocket and lifted the sticky napkin away from the bar. He took a bite of the zesty snack and chewed contentedly. Looking across the cemetery he realized that this was the first time that he had been to the cemetery’s center with out Mary.

“I miss you Mary.” He said to the quiet.

He crumbled the napkin and threw it in the barrel and wiped his sugary hands on his pants pockets. Harold gazed up into the splotchy sky with his hands held on his hips. The cool humid air felt good on his warm face. He stared, watching a cluster of grey clouds that were floating lightly across the midnight sky. The moon was a perfect half crescent and glowed in its smooth celestial light.

A cold breeze blew over Harold’s shoulders and he shivered.

“It’s perfect.” An unfamiliar voice made Harold jump. “I must have it.” Harold turned around to face the direction of the voice and was blind sighted by the wide pillar that stood in the graveyard.

He leaned his body around the column about to ask who was there, but then he saw whom was talking.

She was the most beautiful woman Harold had ever seen.

Her body was tall, slim and feminine. Her skin was a flawless white under the inky sky. Her arms and long neck shined in contrast against the dark Purple dress that she was wearing. The material was blowing around her as if it was abnormally light.

Harold’s eyes caught the neckline that plunged down her pale torso to rest almost at her hips. Her pale lips where full and curved up into a large smile. Even with her powder white skin, the most shocking part about this woman was her hair. It was ruby red and fell fluidly across her back. Harold thought of blood on snow.

Harold wasn’t sure how long he was looking at her, but he was shaken out of his trance by another cold breeze.

It seemed out of nowhere another person stood next to her. A tall man, someone that Harold had known very well over the years.

Why was he here at this time of night?

Harold was not a nosey man and didn’t want to eaves drop on his friend, but he should know better than being in the graveyard after hours. Harold took a step beside the pillar accidentally nudging a rock with his boot. The noise was minute, but not entirely unnoticeable.

The man standing next to the beautiful women looked in Harold’s direction and a look of pure terror sparked across his face for a brief moment, he subtly held a halting hand in Harold’s direction. It was gone as quickly as it came. The tall man turned back to the women. “It will never be yours Eris.” He said calmly.

The women looked from the statue and glared at the man darkly.

He continued, “The angel looks away from you. Don’t you see? The angel is still looking down.” He spoke to the woman in a low voice. “You have to leave; there is no chance that you can take it. Staying here will only harm our plan”

The women in the flowing dress walked slowly up to the man.

“Our plan?” She questioned. “Are you going to try to stop me, my grace?” She smiled at him and put her hand on his cheek. Even though his skin was bleached out by the moonlight her hand paled in comparison – she looked as though she was glowing.

“No. You know that I’m on your side.” He said a little breathless as he held her hand against his face. His eyes closed and after a minute he started to breathe evenly once more. “But it is impossible to take it without the angel’s permission. The seer said that it had to be given to a mortal.”

Her hand clawed his face as she drew it from him repulsed. “You mean to say that no Fallen can take it.” She paused for his reply.

He cleared his throat. “Yes, no Fallen or Angel can take it without permission. The seer said that only a mortal child can be given the gift.” He continued, “One of privilege.”

A small chuckle filled the graveyard with an eerie chill.

Harold had never heard anything like that in his entire life. Her laugh made his blood turn cold. His heart felt as though it was beating out of his chest as a cold sweat broke across his brow. He had experiences like this before when he was in war, his sixth sense of fight or flight. His entire body told him that he needed to leave as fast as he could.

Harold slid behind the pillar and searched for the gate keys. His shaky hands pulled them out of his jacket pocket with a small jingle.

“One of privilege.” she sneered, “Yes, well we will just have to wait for that one to step foreword. It seems that the Satoh’s are providing more and more options for the angel.” She laughed again.

Harold started at Mary’s last name.

She continued, “I’ve watched them all and none are match for me.”

The man placed his hand on the woman’s arm trying to lead her away from the statue. “When the time comes we’ll take it from the chosen one, and then it will all be yours.”

“Wrong, you will kill the chosen one, and then take it. It is the only way to make sure that it is mine forever. The seer made that clear.” The women stared into the man’s eyes. “Am I understood?”

“Yes, Eris I understand you perfectly.” He answered.

“The tomb has been broken. It seems as though a thanks is in order. Even though the chosen one is not here to offer their blood in offering, someone else has come to help.” She said.

“Eris, you have already shown your thanks in abundance. If there is any blood shed here tonight, you be sending a warning to the Satoh’s.”

Harold heard the women laugh the same awful way as before. It was too high pitched and it seemed to carry its own echo. The sound was not human.

“Thanks are always in order. Tonight will not be my first sacrifice to obtain this gift, but it will be a significant one. I will let them be warned. The Satoh’s deserve a warning; I am being most kind. Of course, they should have the choice to flee if they want. There is no need for them to die fighting for something that isn’t even theirs yet.”

Harold couldn’t understand what he was hearing, but he was sure that Mary would be able to. He had to warn her family to leave town.

Harold took one step forward but almost ran into the woman that was now standing in front of him. He jumped, dropping his keys on the stony path.

Up close she was beyond stunning. Her body was so smooth that it was as though every angel of her had been drawn by a master artist, her soft face painted perfect white and without blemish. Even though Harold felt he had to run, he had a strong urge to touch her face, but he couldn’t move. He became locked her intense gaze.

In the same night that he saw the most beautiful thing he also saw the foulest. Her eyes were staring directly into his, and they were a diseased green. They looked as though they belonged to the corpse of a drowned victim. But they were still moving; they looked deranged and wild.

She had taken his hand and held it painfully against the statue by the pillar, pinning him. She was so strong. “You are clearly not the one.” She said with a high chuckle as she reached her other hand to slowly caress his check. “But you will be perfect to help me show gratitude on this night.”

*

A loud shrilling ring woke Lily Tippin out of a deep sleep. Her arm fumbled across her nightstand knocking her favorite book noisily to the floor. It landed spine up and lay completely flat. She hoped it didn’t fold one of the pages under the pressure. Her hand hit a familiarly hard surface and she tightened her stiff fingers around the phone.

“Hmphello?” she muttered, pushing snowy white hair off of her face. The cold plastic stung her warm cheek.

“Lily! Have your heard? Did you hear what happened?” a voice cried through the telephone.

Lily looked up at her clock through one squinted eye. Clearing her throat she stated the obvious. “It’s 6:10.”

“Wake up Lily! It horrible, something so awful happened. Harold has been murdered. It’s all over the news. A reporter is on the TV, she keeps talking about his loyalty to the neighborhood watch and how Navarre has a serial killer on the loose. There were two other murders last night in Massillon. There are police everywhere. And I mean police; there are tons here from all over Stark County.”

Her best friend Shelly knew to never call her early on a Saturday. What was she thinking? Saturday morning and the majority of Saturday afternoon was time for Lily to make up for lost sleep during the last week.

“Harold?” Lily muttered.

“Yes. Harold, he’s been murdered. Jared Hales found his body at the graveyard this morning. Well not just in the graveyard, Lily, his body was in an open grave. Like the murderer took the time to put him in a grave and then just left him there.” Shelly sounded like she was crying. “Lil, his face was missing.” She was talking so fast that she was stumbling over her words.

Lily sat up in bed letting her bundled warmth leak out of the blankets. The fresh cool air was helping her to wake up. An open grave? Lily felt a slow shiver roll down her spine.

Shelly continued, “His whole face was gone, his head was still there, but his face… his face…” she was crying.

“Wooo.” Lily tried making a scary ghost noise into the phone but her morning voice was still very rough and she chocked mid try.

Instead she chose to be serious.

“Shelly, it’s freaking early and that is seriously messed up. Harold has been like a grandpa to you and you know what he is like to me.” Lily continued, “Making up a story like this is beyond over the line. Harold in an open grave? Really?” Lily could hear someone making whimpering noises in the background.

“I’m not making this up Lil.” Shelly said, “Harold was murdered last night. We want you to come over here, there’s so much that we need to tell you. You’re not safe being alone.”

Lily realized the whimpering noises in the background was Shelly’s little sister Katrina. Wow, Shelly pulled out all of the stops this year. Katrina sounded like she was really upset.

“Shelly! What are you doing?” Lily could hear Shelly’s mother yelling in the background. Ha! Shelly will get it now.

“Ha, ha, April Fools to you too Shelly. Good night, err, morning. Have fun getting grounded by your mom.” Lily hung up the phone with annoyance and pulled her blanket up over her face. Before the blanket could push all of the cool air out of her make-shift cocoon, the phone let out another ring.

“Shelly,” Lily said as she picked up the phone, “it’s not funny.”

“Lily, darling,” it was Amaya, Shelly’s mother “I’m so sorry to bother you so early in the morning.” She sounded weary.

“Umm, it’s ok Miss Satoh, what’s going on?” Lily replied taken a little off guard opening her eyes for the first time.

“Well,” Amaya said, “I told Shelly to wait to call you until later, but since you’re up, I just wanted to invite you over. I know that your father is out of town and I didn’t think that you would want to be alone this morning. You see,” Her voice grew suddenly quiet, “Harold was murdered last night.”

Lily didn’t believe what she was hearing. She sat up and pushed the warm blankets onto the floor.

Harold was the kindest man Lily has ever met. He had been the closest thing like family to her besides Shelly and Mary, and well her father. The first memory she had of him was when Harold had spoken at her Mom’s funeral when Lily was seven, - he’s been in her life ever since.

She never felt close to her father and even though she always tried to please him-she knew she failed. After her Mom died, her dad seemed to loose himself in work. He would leave on business trips for weeks or even months at a time. His returns were always brief and they seemed unwanted as he impatiently waited to leave again.

The one thing that Lily’s dad always made sure of was that Lily wasn’t alone and that she had a roof over her head, Harold’s roof in fact. If you’ve ever heard the saying how it takes a whole village to raise a child, it was true. Lily grew up at many houses in Navarre. But the place that felt most like home was Harold’s. Lily even had a key to his house; he gave to her on her eighth birthday.

Harold took Lily to grade school every morning when she was younger. He bought her school supplies and clothes with the money that her father sent every month. She spent half of her childhood with him. He taught her how to do algebra, how to cook SOS, and even how to throw a punch. He was always at home waiting for her after school wondering how her day went. She would even see him at the Satoh’s when she would stay at their house on a Saturday nights - Harold and Shelly’s grandmother Mary were always together.

It had only been recently that Lily’s father thought she was old enough to stay at home alone. But when her father was out of town for business, like now, Lily would still stay at Harold’s place so she wouldn’t feel lonely.

A heavy wave of uncertainty went through Lily. Her mind numb as she fought what Amaya had said. It couldn’t be true. Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice.

“Lily, are you there?” Amaya asked. “Lily?”

Lily stared at the receiver not knowing what to say. She could hear Amaya talking to someone in the background but for some reason Lily didn’t care what was being said.

“Don’t worry kiddo,” Amaya continued with a small sniff, “Tom just left the house, he is going to come and get you. Lily, are you still there? Are you ok?”

The best Lily could come up with was, “Is Mary ok, does she know what happened?”

“I don’t know. We are not sure where she is. She left a couple days ago and we haven’t heard from her since.” Amaya said. “She left the family a few letters; there is one with your name on it. You can see it when you get here. I’m hoping that yours say something about where she is, because she didn’t say anything about it in ours.”

“A letter?” Lily asked.

“Yes dear, she left letters for the family; you are part of our family.” Amaya’s voice sounded rough from crying. Mary and Harold had always made her feel part of a family, but no one ever said it out loud before.

When Harold and Mary started seeing each other Mary started to bring Shelly around to play with Lily after school. Lily and Shelly had gone to different grade schools. But there was only one Middle School and one High School in Navarre and they became inseparable. Lily went from just having a father, to having grandparents and a sister – she suddenly felt a very strong need for her best friend.

“Amaya, will you please put Shelly back on the phone?” Lily asked.

“Of course, dear, I’ll see you soon.” Lily could hear Amaya talking more in the background and then Shelly took the phone. Her voice was not nearly as in control as her mother’s had been.

“Hi.” Shelly said.

“Hey, I’m sorry I hung up on you. I didn’t believe - I feel awful that I thought that you were joking.” Lily waited for Shelly to blow her nose.

Shelly didn’t acknowledge the apology. “I know. It’s horrible. I didn’t mean to break the news to you that way, I just didn’t know what to do and I really needed to talk to you. I had to know that you were ok. Are you ok?”

Lily paused to think about that question. “I don’t know. I can’t grasp it – nothing feels real.”

“I wish this wasn’t real.”

Lily remembered something horrible. “Shelly,” Lily asked hesitantly, “what did you mean that Harold’s face was missing?”

Shelly took a very uneven breath. “Well Jared showed up to the graveyard this morning, I guess he was going to start measuring the grounds for great grandfather’s new tomb. He’s the one that found him there. He was lying in an open grave –“Shelly stopped talking.

“What is it Shell?”

“Well,” she paused, “his face was just…missing. Nothing was wrong with his body, no wounds or anything, nothing was wrong besides the fact that his face was gone. The reporter on the news is saying that he had bleed to death, that maybe an animal did it. But there wasn’t a lot of blood in the grave and there were no signs of struggle and-“

“Ok, I don’t want to know anymore.” Lily said

“I’m sorry Lily, I’m so sorry.” Shelly brokenly whispered.

Both girls sat quietly on the phone until a knock rapped on the front door.

“I think your dad is here, I’ll see you soon” Lily said. She her cell back on the small table and wandered over to her dresser. Without looking at what she grabbed she pulled on a pair of pants. She grabbed her shoes and crossed the living room to open the door.

Tom was standing on Lily’s front porch with a serious look on his face. “Hello Lily, do you mind if I come inside? I have something I’d like to talk to you about.”

His request took Lily off guard. Tom was a very quiet man. He kept to himself and rarely spoke to Lily. Actually he rarely spoke to anyone. Whenever Lily would ask Shelly about her dad it seemed as though Shelly only knew the bare minimum, he worked for a bank.

Lily and Tom had never been in the same room together, let alone in an empty house together, but Lily nodded her head and stepped back. Tom walked inside the living room looking a little uncomfortable. Lily had never seen Tom so unkempt. His hair was sticking up in odd angles and his shirt wasn’t tucked in and was left half way open over his undershirt.

He paced back and forth for sometime before he spoke. Lily took a seat on the couch. Just when the silence seemed to be too much, Tom spoke. “When Mary left, to where ever she has gone to,” He sounded irritated, “she left the family some letters. There is one for you at the house.”

“Amaya told me over the phone.” Lily said.

Tom nodded his head and started to pace again, the pace seemed to be much slower than before. “I opened my letter before any one else had woken up.” He paused, “If Mary ever writes a letter it’s very personal and very important. You see, my mother is an interesting woman. She thinks that something bad is happening around us. She has told me many things in my letter that others might not believe. But I believe them.”

Lily watched as Tom took an uneasy seat beside her. She looked into his eyes wanting to calm him; she never noticed before that they had the same graceful upward slant that Mary’s had. They were also the shape of her best friend Shelly’s.

Lily suddenly felt her first small comfort after what she heard this morning. She wasn’t alone, she had the Satohs.

He took a deep breath and continued, “The most personal thing in my letter was something for you. It’s a second letter that she asked me to give to you privately. I’m still not sure that I should give it to you.” With this Tom pulled a Red envelope out of his pocket and held it in his long hands. “I didn’t open it Lily, but I need you to know that in my letter, my mother asked me to tell you that everything she wrote to you is true. She also instructed me to have you read this when you are alone.” He handed the envelope to Lily.

Lily took the envelope and looked at the “L” that was written on the face of it. Tom gazed at his empty hand.

“My mother is a very honest woman, but there are things that she believes that sound crazy. What ever is in your letter, you just - you must use logic when you read it.”

Lily folded the envelope and stuck it in her back pocket.

“Mr. Satoh,” Lily asked, “if you’re not sure I should have it, why are you giving it to me?”

His face looked extremely tired. “Well I’m not sure where my mother is and there are many important things for my family to deal with right now.” He put his hand on Lily’s shoulder. “I feel as though you are one of my children Lily. And because my mother has decided to include you in on a very dangerous secret that doesn’t mean that you have to be in on it. You see you have a choice if you want to stay here alone, it might be dangerous for you but we will do our best to make you safe here.”

“Here?”

“Well not necessarily in this house, but away from us.”

Tom saw the saddened look on Lily’s face. “Mr. Satoh, I don’t understand what you’re trying to-“

“I’m sorry. I’m not being very clear. I just want you to know that if you come with me now, you’re going to learn more about the Satoh’s than you could ever imagine.” Tom looked at Lily sternly. “We have a secret Lily and once we tell you our secret there is no going back. It can help you understand many things that are happening but it will be a very difficult thing to accept, and it could place you in danger. But we can help prepare you for what is coming.”

“Danger?”

“Yes.” Tom stood back up. “Honestly though, you might be safer being in danger with us, than in danger by yourself. If it was me, I’d rather know, but I understand if you don’t want to come with me.”

Lily didn’t understand anything that Tom was saying to her. He was staring at her looking frustrated and undecided. He was uncomfortable around Lily, he always had been before, but now he told her that she was like one of his children. Lily didn’t feel the same closeness to Tom as she did Mary, but she could tell that his words were sincere. Lily trusted him. She wasn’t sure why going with him would make her unsafe but she did know that if she stayed where she was; she would be alone. And that was something that Lily feared the most.

“I’m coming with you.”



Thursday, November 1, 2012

Happy month fellow bloggers!!

November holds many things that are dear to me; Thanksgiving, Black Friday, My Mom’s birthday, and many little treasures that this month celebrates. I would like to take note of NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo, which sneak up on me every year, even though I know its November when they arrive.


NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Posting Month, is a month long writing exercise intended to occur annually in November. The challenge is to publish one post on one's blog every day. There is no length requirement, thank goodness, but I hope quality will be a large part of my posts this month. I may blog more than one post on one day, and none on the next. Sometimes life is too busy to sit down every day to post. 

NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, was started by a group of authors who wanted to motivate themselves into creating more work. The challenge is to produce a 50,000 word novel within one month. Who has time for this when they work full time!? Sheesh!  Right now my novel The SPINDLE is at 37,780 words. My personal NaNoWriMo goal 12,220 words to hit 50,000 words by March. I think my goal is obtainable, but I really want to focus on quality over quantity. Here’s hoping for both.

Cheers to all novelists shooting for their goals this month.

Love goes to the journalists that are too busy to write every day, but still try between naptimes, work expectations, social events, family schedules, and church callings.

Thanks to the poets that write on stained Betos napkins because their muse found them at 3 o’clock in the morning on a Saturday night.

To all of the grammar Nazis out there – we, being the others, know our flaws. Help the less gifted learn, but please be kind and see that talent can reside in those that still rely on spellcheck. Give us a break. Give us a lift.

I’m looking forward to write more this month. I want to be a published writer one day. This is a nice month to get my hands dirty and kick writer’s block in the pants. Good luck to all the writers everywhere. May your pens, pencils, markers, typewriters, keyboards, and touchscreens be open to the talent that’s uniquely yours. OPA!





Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Clack, clack. Plat.

Fall is a brewing!  It uplifts my spirits, to the point of feeling hyper.  I adore the colors, the clothes, cold breezes that flow through windows, the grey, green, and purple hued clouds, the fogged sun during the afternoons and the velvety dark that bookends the day, the neighboring holidays waiting to host loved ones, and yes, even the windy, rainy days that will surely mess up your hair.  I love it all.
This season invites my favorite things to come together in perfect harmony.  It makes me want to bundle up and write; the small clacks on the keyboard making friends with the plats of rain on the roof.   I crave to dig into new books and soups.  I like to walk with the sprinkling rain, both of us moving at a slow pace.  The wild air swells with sweet-sounding whistling and hums.  The mix of poetic thoughts and hot chocolate slip past each other on my tongue politely, each waiting their turn and never having judgment of my art or calorie intake.   The trees glow ablaze with crisp hot colors while the silver grass lay bejeweled with frozen beads of dew - the perfect embodiment of fire and ice.
I want to feel crisp air in my lungs.
I want to rest in warm blankets.
I want to taste savory meals.
I want to wear the stormy colors of Vera Wang.
I want to hug my friends.
I want to show my ample gratitude for family.
I want to make my life more substantial.
I want to feel free.
I want to start now.

For everything there is a season.  For me, it is fall.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Rieting Time - LIST POEM

My Grief Cycle
SHOCK
It’s hard to breathe!
I can’t sleep!
I lost so much!
Who is singing upstairs!
April fools!

DENIAL
Work and sleep
My faith is strong enough
Work and sleep
I don’t need anyone
Work and sleep

ANGER
You should have warned me!
Gossip, lies, and rejection, oh my!
What loss, she isn’t lost!
Everyone is crazy!
A BABY!

BARGAINING
I don’t want to survive this…
If I make them a priority, I’ll be important to them…
Please, please help…
I’ll just go to church…
I feel fine…

DEPRESSION
everyone leaves
i’m not needed
i’m alone
i deserve this
hello darkness my old friend

TESTING
Counseling?
Medication?
Confiding?
Faith?
Crying?

ACCEPTANCE
I’m a part of a sisterhood.
My testimony is as strong as I build it.
I need to communicate with my friends.
Healthy relationships require trust.
I miss her.

CYCLING
hello darkness my old friend
I lost so much!
Please, please help…
Faith?
I miss her.

Friday, July 27, 2012

A small story - to give some clarity

The passing of a loved one is a sensation that you can only understand if you’ve been through it. I’ve had many people give advice, condolences, and support while I have been grieving my mother. I’m grateful for those people. For me losing my mom also meant that I lost my person I could always run to, my overly-loud conscience, my personal comedian, a beacon of honesty, my trusted secret keeper, a gospel icon, and a best friend. Many people tell you that you will always have a part of her with you, but I was never prepared for the part of me that went with her. The shock of my mom passing on left me disoriented, breathless, and hurt. I’ve known from a young age that my mother was prepared for a shorter life but I don't think that anyone else could have prepared for it. I know that there will be times throughout my life that I will need to pause and secure my footing because there will always be a part of me that is anchored to her. We are connected, her and I.

Today I had someone tell me that they were sorry that I lost my mom. My first thought was, “I’m sorry that you never met her”.  Knowing my mom was a blessing. My blog today was just going to be a list poem, which I'll share later, that I’ve been working on, but as I was typing it out there was more that needed to be said. More back story to what I’m missing out on and what I had to learn to do without.

My mother had moods that changed faster than Utah weather. She had the eyes of a hawk for flaws and shortcomings. She was as unruly and free as a shoeless summer. She was outspoken, always, whether it was with a tongue sharp as a sword or with courage speaking up for the underdog. My mom never swore, “Except one word that couldn’t not be replaced by any other word” when a woman was acting more like a witch than a lady. My mom was extreme in everything; from her loud shirts and muu-muus to her experiences in life and relationships.

My mom was a force to be reckoned with. The removal of that force from this world should have left a black hole in her place, not just a metaphorical one that I feel in my lungs whenever I’m lonely for her company but a real empty space where gravity prevents anything to remain, including light. How could you remove such a bright soul and expect nothing but darkness to be in its place?

The world should grieve her. Maybe it does, in its own way. It is lacking the barking laughter that only she could sound like when someone slipped and fell; no sound will echo that again. There was a tangible silence, only she could enforce on a room when she “needed to be alone for a minute”. The outdoors will be missing her pink hair - half red, half white, that she collected out of her hairbrush before she threw it outside “for the birds to use”. Trees are heavier now without her buying hundreds of notebooks and stationary pads to hand out to people in the neighborhood because “someone always needs school supplies”. Even the calendar celebrates April Fools the day after she left this world; it knew that if there was any time that she wasn't counting after curfew, being wasted by unrequited love, avoiding sleep, planning a meal, or her proving that punctuality was not a lost art in the Mormon culture must had been a joke. Handsome, and not so handsome, men everywhere will be missing her never-ending hunt for her single daughter. These men will go without a slipped phone number or dinner invite as she is leaving a restaurant, shopping a clearance isle, or even receiving oxygen from a paramedic who later she disappointedly found out was married. “Hollering distance” has been reigned in miles because other mother’s do not carry the same lung capacity, to call her children home that mine did. Every baby in a stranger’s arm was met with my mother’s cooing and individual 15 minutes of fame. A burning hot day will never hear the words “Haught-dawgy” the way my mother could say it with her unique Ohioan-Utahan accent. The sales for footies (small socks), sassafras tea, and jello have all likely plummeted. And waiters across the Salt Lake Valley are definitely handing out too many lemon slices per table.

The world has changed since her leaving it. My world has changed.

The Nichols girls are all equally emotional, moody and passionate as my mother in our own way or another. We have all split the compliments that my mother has received throughout her life. Her traits were divided amongst us. They would have to be. I don’t think anyone could have a personality that took on the world as spherically as my mother’s did. Even though I only have some of her charisma, craziness and passions, I’m lucky to have that part of her with me. A close friend told me that I exaggerate everything. I looked shocked and then I roared with laughter. I used to say that to my mom as well. It is true in both cases.

My mother never read us books before bedtime as children, but my entire life was full of stories. She embellished her past so much that they may as well have been tall tales. Her memories became our fairytales and fables. They became legends as they were told, and retold by many. She would tell them to anyone who would listen, or even stand still long enough. She was a story teller. A word weaver.  She had a passionate look on the world.  I compare my mother to Edward Bloom from the movie Big Fish to anyone who didn’t get the chance to meet her. She was equally full of life and tale.

The day my mom passed, my family sat in the family room that was next to the ER in the hospital. I remember a lot about that room, the things that were said, the way my family looked, and my thoughts during that awful night. I remember running into my brother-in-law Greg in the parking lot; he would tell me nothing but to go inside. I remember the squeaky couch cushion that I sat on next to my dad after he looked at me with tears telling me that “she’s gone”. I remember where everyone sat and how London and Monte arrived last and then seeing their faces fall as they were told the news. I remember the priesthood blessings that were given in a room that I’m sure has seen innumerable amounts of tears. I remember Monte looking at the floor and talking to everyone as he asked, “Well, will you be able to remember her stories?” We all knew that we would. They were imprinted in us, down to our cores. They will be shared with those that never got to meet her, those that will never understand the greatness of Valerie Nichols.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Lead, kindly Light…

I am sorry that I haven’t posted as constantly as I should have.

So much has been happening that I can hardly keep up with it all. Sadly, life has been pretty hard for me lately. I’ve been having medical issues – all of them have taken weeks, months, years, to find out answers too. I feel that I have a game plan now and it’s easier for me to write about it because I’m not feeling lost in the night.

About a month or two ago my left side started to lose feeling and I was scared. I had a hard time understanding how I was getting worse when I was medically doing everything I could. I was dieting, I was doing physical therapy, I had spinal injections, I had nerve root block injections, I was taking my medicine, and I was following up with the doctors that were helping me through treatment. I had a blessing from my brother-in-law Greg and I felt calm and had peace that I would be taken care of. The next few days I was getting better, and fast. I was able to move into my sister Lera’s house with her beautiful family with a bunch of help from some really great friends.


A few weeks after I moved, the numbness and weakness hit me again, except this time it came back with a vengeance. My entire left side, arm and leg, went numb and weak. I could barely walk, shower, sit, and all of the amazing blessings that we take for granted daily. I couldn’t text or even hold my phone in my left hand.
I went to the ER, twice, and I had some tests done to see if I had a stroke. My face wasn’t affected at all by the weakness so the doctors were confused by my symptoms. I had tests of all kinds done for approximately 3 days. CT-Scan, 5 MRI’s, X-rays, blood work, strength and reflex, a heart echo…all came out healthy with no signs of MS, stroke, or any types of heart issues. I was perfectly healthy. I went back to the ER and they admitted me to the hospital to finish up these tests and were watching my vitals cautiously. (Apparently these symptoms can show weeks before the actual attack.)

I was so scared. I was feeling anxious because I hate hospitals; my mom had spent so much of her life in one that I promised myself I never would. I felt like I was imprisoned in my own body. The worst part for me was seeing my family struggle with my burden.

Before I went to the ER the first time, my Bro-in-law gave me another blessing. In that blessing Greg was so calm and faithful in the words he was revealing to me that I also felt the surety of the promises he was saying. He said that I will be healed, but I must be patient until that happens. I knew he was right. I’m trying to be patient. I’m grateful that answers are already coming into my view as I go through this journey.

I have been basically at bed rest at my sister’s house. I'm able to get around when needed and shower/take care of my simple needs. Laying down is the most comfortable for me. I’m not released to go to work-which I am grateful for because I couldn’t walk or sit for the requirements of my job. I’m working on filing a claim for short-term disability and I’m praying that everything will go smoothly with that.

I met with a Neurosurgeon last year; he gave me bad news and I felt a little shattered with the information that he was preparing me for if my issues spread past my right leg. He said that because my nerves were already damaged that doing surgery would provide more risk than relief and he told me that he would not be able to help me further until it became worse. When I left the hospital they told me that I needed to see this doctor again to follow up with him on my case. I didn’t want to see him. I felt as though that path had already been examined and I didn’t feel that he would be able to help me. By the time I was about to call to set up an appointment, my bro-in-law Greg’s mother called me. Nancy said that she works for an orthopedic surgeon, someone who deals with the bones instead of just the nerves, she told him about me and he made sure to see me a.s.a.p.

I met with an orthopedic surgeon this morning, Doctor Felix. He was such a kind and smart man. He knew my case before I arrived in the office. He already did the research on my films from the Lumbar Spine MRI that I had so I wouldn’t have to make a separate follow up appointment. He was prepared. And he was a black and white thinker like I am. He had a game plan. He gave me 3 options.
1. Do nothing and learn to live with it.
2. Do more physical therapy and try to strengthen what I have so it hopefully doesn’t spread. (Which is what I did last year and ended up having a damaged right leg)
3. Have spinal surgery. He said that the surgery will be my best option if I’m looking to save my left leg and if I want any chance of getting some strength back in my right leg. I felt as though that was the right solution and I have an appointment at the St. Marks hospital for spinal surgery on April 30th.

I’m nervous for the 8-10 weeks of recovery and for the issues that may arise during the procedure, but I feel solid about this decision.

I feel as though it’s my best option and that the past 2 years have been leading me up to this choice. My arm is back to normal. My leg is getting a bit worse. All in all, I know that I will be taken care of and I feel truly blessed for the help of my family and friends.

When I was released from the hospital the next day due to insurance issues, I was released under guardian care. I lived with my Dad and his wife Betty for almost two weeks. They were so hospitable.
My dad was gone for the majority of the time, because of work, but when he was home he was supportive, involved and loving.
Betty is a retired nurse. She was all over my illness from the moment I went to the ER, to the tests, to the hospital, to being released at home. She was with me, drove me, visited me, and made sure I had what I needed.
Lera and Greg have been so sweet and helpful. I have been living back at their home for a few weeks. Lera goes to the store for me, helps me clean and do my laundry, makes errands for me, and she always checks in on me. (Even though she is a mom of 2 boys, ages 2 and 3, and works part-time at the fitness center- she always makes time for me.) She made sure that I had clean clothes and all of the preps a girl needs when she isn't in the luxery of her own home.
Greg, always the nice guy, treats me like a spoiled little sister. He helps me set up my computer and all of the gadgets that I need to be more comfortable. He gives me the good parking spot. He plays games with me on the phone. He is so entertaining and funny.
My nephews, Brody and Palmer are two of the cutest things you can imagine. They give me “big loves” which consists of grins, giggles, and full body hugs. They ask me about my ow-ie all the time. Saying that they can’t see it but they have to still be careful with Auntie Why.
My sister London calls me a lot and keeps me company. She has helped me stay motivated in eating right and being as healthy as possible. She has helped me know that I’m not alone these past years. Always helping me feel loved and I always feel more "like me" when I’m with her. She doesn’t expect anything from me but to be me.
Annie stayed with me while I was admitted in the hospital. She helped me get some of my medical strings tied up on the insurance side. She has offered supportive gospel and attitude counsel, medical advice, and has helped me become aware of all of my blessings by her optimism and thoughtfulness. She always knows when I need support, whether it’s because times are hard or because she just knows me and my quarks. She has held my hand through the past 2 years in this medical trial.
I have had a bunch of texts and calls from friends that have been so constant this last year. They all support me in different, and much needed, ways.

I was going to have the surgery this coming Monday, but my friend Allison will be coming out for the MTC a day early and we are going to throw her a nice dinner (at Red Robin, lol) before she leaves. Besides doctor’s appointments and tests, this will be my first time out of the house. I’m dying to have some fun…but I’m also nervous for how people will look at me. I don’t know what are worse, judgmental eyes or the sympathetic eyes that make you feel a little pathetic. Either way I need to strengthen up. Recovery is going to be a long road. I want to feel normal again. I trust that I’m headed in that direction. I have faith that I will not be alone during this or let down during this change in my life. I'm glad that I asked if there was a later appointment because the nurse told me that we would actually need to set up another appointment for a pre-op. Which they would not have been able to have done before Monday and that could have held up my surgery.

I’m really trying to make a better, healthier life for myself. Since I can’t swim in the mornings, I have got to get my diet working for me. I have been using the app "fitness pal" which is a daily calorie counter. It's been working for me.
Low calories. Low carbs. Low sugars. High protein. High fiber. High motivation.

Like the brilliant John Lennon has said, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans”. A few years ago I would have never seen me in this situation. But I can see the blessings that I have because of the trials I have gone through. I’m happy and I feel the blessings of the Lord in my daily life. I am grateful for the Holy Ghost during trials and the hard times. There is a season for everything; right now this is a down time for me. I know that the seasons change...I’m looking forward to what the future holds for me.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

FREE MEAL...or dressing



I have been wanting to blog for a while, but the things I want to write about are feelings or journals about specific events. That takes way too much time. So instead, I'm going to post one delicious recipe. This is a mock-Cafe Rio House Dressing or Creamy Tomatillo Dressing. Enjoy.

Creamy Tomatillo Dressing
4-5 husked tomatillos (depending on size)
1 C mayo
1 pkg Buttermilk Ranch dressing
1 & 1/2 limes, juiced
1/2 sprig of cilantro (remove large stems)
1/2 - 1 seedless-jalapeno (depends on spice desired)
2 cloves minced garlic
*1 Cafe Rio Worker

Blend until liquefied
Keep refrigerated up to two weeks
*1 Cafe Rio Worker is not actually needed...that was just for funsies.


(If you are making salads, you can use the rest of the cilantro/limes for those.)