Adding water to soap
This does not make more soap. IT MAKES LESS SOAP PER USE. If you have skimmed every plastic piece of it's gooey cleanliness, it's time to get more soap.
Men
Cold case.
Pinterest
I love you but I will never understand the allure of people pinning things they would like to do, and yet, never do them.
Why do I keep coming back to you?
Because you give me a hope of things I want even though they are not apart of my current life.
*same answer applies to the subject of men.
The Inheritance Cycle
This book series is BORING and so hard for me to get through without comparing it to LOTR. Dear Chris, you are very talented for writing these at such a young age. Dear Readers, have you not seen the resemblance between LOTR and these books?
Twitter
You are lame!! You are the attention seeking drama that is my least favorite part of Facebook.
The impolite cough
I hate that I can't excuse a cough. I can sneeze, say excuse me, and it's pardoned. Coughing just seems to be a begrudged acceptance from everyone.
Hoarding scents
Why is it that we are always restocking on soap, shampoo, and conditioner, but we all have the unlimited supply of perfume. If we are not using them, we probably shouldn't keep buying them.
People
Wash your hands, let others pass you in traffic, clean your house, and be kind to people.
Seriously.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Optimistic during opposition
For me, happiness doesn’t come naturally, this is a choice. I’m learning how to do it as I go, but I thought I would share some of the reasons why I decided to take better care of myself, to learn to love myself, and to only allow myself to invest in those that can give me a healthy relationship (whether it’s work, friend, social, romantic, family, etc…). I control my happiness; no one else really has a role in that. Yes, it’s true that others can make you feel all ranges of emotions from the best to the worst, but I control who I spend my time with and how much power I can give to others.
About two months ago, my roomy Annie and I were talking about how to be happy. We both shared some experiences on how we came out of a trial feeling happier than when we went into it, but I had absolutely no experiences that I was able to find the positive side during a trial. My life, just like everyone else’s, has been hard. I told Annie that the only way that I thought I could find happiness and stay happy was for me to be defensive against the things that hurt me. I had to defend the things that made me happy. I had to completely fight against the things in my life that brought me down. I had to arm myself with goodness. I started studying about the Armor of God. I started to pray for happiness. I started to beg, in sincere and righteous wanting, to have a special spirit to be with me so I could become an optimistic person. That week of asking, studying, and wanting goodness to fill my heart opened so many new ways of thinking for me.
The next week Annie asked me to teach a class on ‘How to be Optimistic during Opposition’ for a service week with the singles in our Stake. We both knew the reason why she thought I should teach this. We knew that I needed to study it. Studying for this topic has been such a rebirth in my emotional state. This topic has been very tough for me to study because; 1. I didn’t have a testimony of finding joy during trials, 2. I feel as though I have been barely staying above water in my life, and worst of all 3. I still didn’t think that I deserved to feel at peace. I prayed for that patient spirit to coach me through this.
When I started to study, I looked up numerous talks on trials. This was interesting to me because my focus automatically went to the burdens and how to deal with them.
I was talking to my friend Amanda about my medical issues. I had just found out that there was nothing the doctors could do for me but give me medicine to help with the pain, not even a resolve or temporarily take away the pain, but to try to find something to help it. Painful spinal injections did nothing. Physical Therapy only strengthened my financial debt. In a white cold doctor’s lab, my spinal surgeon told me that they would be unable to operate because I had such extensive nerve damage, that it damaged my muscles. I will always have a paralyzed extension in my right leg. He also told me that my spinal issues will branch off and cause other problems in my body. It could affect my hip movement, my bladder control, my sexual organs, my reproductive organs; my other leg, flexibility and movement in my back…but these were “highly unlikely”. In another visit he told me that my nerve damage may heal within the next year, but that was also unlikely.
The fear and loss of hope in gaining my strength back I felt in that moment had me weeping. I was lucky that Annie showed up at the end of the appointment, because she was able to ask all of the questions that I was begging to know. I’m also glad that she listened, because I couldn’t. My thoughts were screaming. I felt as though I had lost a future that I wanted so much, a family. I would forever feel trapped in a body that looked like a monster. I already have such bad weight problems that men will never feel attracted to me, but now I felt permanently damaged.
Who could love a creature like me? Who would take care of me if I got sicker? How could anyone not think of me as a burden? What friends would stick by me when I am such a freak of nature? I was terrified. I was so alone. When I left the doctor’s office I cried in the parking lot for a few hours until I could see the road.
I hated myself. I hated everything that I was. I hated everything that I thought I would never have in my future. A while later when I could open up about things, and I was talking to Amanda, I told her about my fears. I felt left behind. I felt as though I was slowing down and the whole world was speeding up. She told me, “Heavenly Father would only slow you down so he could make sure that you see things more clearly. This is a gift.”
That night in my prayers, I thanked Heavenly Father for the gift that he had given me, I asked for his help in seeing what was trying to show me. With a heart broken, tear streaked face, I fell asleep.
The next morning I remembered what Amanda said, I remember the spirit I felt during my prayer, and I put it to the test! I choose to let my guard down on everything good and allow myself to give up the things in my life that bring unhappiness. I am normally such a control freak, making this was such a hard thing for me to do.
When I started to study for my lesson, I was seriously taking note of my trials. I had a list of the things that I found the hardest to get through in my life.
When I looked at this list I realized how much I hated myself for this. I felt disgusting and alone. I knew that I was unlovable. I felt embarrassed by the lack of beauty I had to offer. I was damaged. I am damaged. I felt as though only someone abusive could give me attention.
Then, with the kindest and most gentle whispering from the Holy Ghost, I felt his words warm my heart. I felt these comforting words, “None of these were your fault or choice.” I felt peace, my thoughts slowed down. I was calm. Then another thought came to me, “What you do with all of this IS your choice.”
It is my choice. I own me. There are things in my life that I can’t control, but there are things that I can. Life is too hard to surround yourself with sadness. Love is too heartbreaking to put your hopes in someone that doesn’t yet know how to love. The church is too right to not use my time wisely and weave myself into its teachings. Family is too eternal to not love them. Friends of quality are rare and should be treated as gems. I needed to make an action plan so I would never feel unlovable and worthless again.
These are the reasons why I made the action plan below:
-I started to study blessings. Happiness. Joy. Love. Family…
-I started to pray with an open heart. I started to read my scriptures every day. I started putting church attendance as my top priority.
-I made an appointment with my bishop. I have been living so close to that line of sin for way too long. I kind of lead my life like “I want to be good, but I don’t need to be that good.” I realized that is how people were lost in the “mists of darkness”. Life is dark when you are not focused on the light of the world! Talking with my bishop was embarrassing, hard and I felt as though I have been in those offices way too many times for me to feel “light” again. But I did. Before I even left his office, I felt peace. I KNEW that I was doing what made Heavenly Father Proud. There really is no peace without keeping our promises to our Heavenly Father. We cannot be happy without the atonement. We cannot feel our worth before we become worth something in the eternities.
-I make sure that I take my medicine every day. I have a chemical imbalance, but it’s my choice if I want to feel that way or if I want to feel balanced. I prefer balance in my life. I prefer not to be in pain, whether it is spiritual, mental, or physical. Pain? No thank you!
-I have started to lose weight and become more physically healthy. Even if I am handicapped, I refuse to make things harder on myself. I’m down 26 lbs. It’s slow, but steady!
-I asked all of my family to be there for me. I told them it was ok if they couldn’t, but I needed their help. They are all becoming healthier. We lost over 100 lbs together. They have helped me with doctor’s appointments. We spend more time together. I am learning who they are and loving them. I am letting them in my life. I make sure that my time is spent with them when we both have it available.
-My friends that I hang out with love me. I know they do. They support me. They accept me for my flaws, they wait for me when I fall behind, and they help me smile naturally. They know that I love them and they accept that love. It’s not awkward. It’s perfectly equal.
-I don’t hang out with those that don’t love or respect me. If I feel as though I am being used, I cut off their supply of my time. I stopped investing in those that still don’t know who I am. I want to be known. I want others to see my worth. I am lovable, and if they can’t see it, that’s ok. I’m just not wasting myself or my time on those that can’t appreciate who I am.
-Every morning I wake up and I think ‘Today is going to be a great day’. It works. I even have a motto that I say to myself when I start to doubt my new life. It’s in the heading of this letter, “be calm, love on’. Slow down, open up. There is nothing in this world that is good that isn’t worth sending love its way. I was so afraid of LOVE. It seemed like the worst four letter word out there. When people said it, it seemed like a double edged sword, but it’s not. It’s beautiful. It’s kind. It’s simple.
-Every day in my prayers I am grateful. I share my happiness with my Heavenly Father.
That helps most of all!
I’m learning to fall in love with myself. Not in the conceded way, but in kindness. In the details. In the flaws. In the strengths.
I really do love my life. I’m so thankful for it. I am so blessed. I want to thank those that never expected me to be anything but what I am. Rie. Just Rie.
Happiness waits for everyone to find it. I’ve found that when you follow the above, things become more balanced. Things slow down. But in those times of doubt, if you need to borrow my life raft of ‘be calm, love on’ please do.
I was so grateful to study the subject of optimism but I was nervous, everything that I learned for this talk was so personal, I had no idea how I would actually share it. Interestingly enough, my class was cancelled. There was not enough time for my course to be added in the schedule. I felt a wave of relief. I felt blessed for being directed in this subject of study; because with out being asked to learn about it, I would have never have done it on my own.
About two months ago, my roomy Annie and I were talking about how to be happy. We both shared some experiences on how we came out of a trial feeling happier than when we went into it, but I had absolutely no experiences that I was able to find the positive side during a trial. My life, just like everyone else’s, has been hard. I told Annie that the only way that I thought I could find happiness and stay happy was for me to be defensive against the things that hurt me. I had to defend the things that made me happy. I had to completely fight against the things in my life that brought me down. I had to arm myself with goodness. I started studying about the Armor of God. I started to pray for happiness. I started to beg, in sincere and righteous wanting, to have a special spirit to be with me so I could become an optimistic person. That week of asking, studying, and wanting goodness to fill my heart opened so many new ways of thinking for me.
The next week Annie asked me to teach a class on ‘How to be Optimistic during Opposition’ for a service week with the singles in our Stake. We both knew the reason why she thought I should teach this. We knew that I needed to study it. Studying for this topic has been such a rebirth in my emotional state. This topic has been very tough for me to study because; 1. I didn’t have a testimony of finding joy during trials, 2. I feel as though I have been barely staying above water in my life, and worst of all 3. I still didn’t think that I deserved to feel at peace. I prayed for that patient spirit to coach me through this.
When I started to study, I looked up numerous talks on trials. This was interesting to me because my focus automatically went to the burdens and how to deal with them.
I was talking to my friend Amanda about my medical issues. I had just found out that there was nothing the doctors could do for me but give me medicine to help with the pain, not even a resolve or temporarily take away the pain, but to try to find something to help it. Painful spinal injections did nothing. Physical Therapy only strengthened my financial debt. In a white cold doctor’s lab, my spinal surgeon told me that they would be unable to operate because I had such extensive nerve damage, that it damaged my muscles. I will always have a paralyzed extension in my right leg. He also told me that my spinal issues will branch off and cause other problems in my body. It could affect my hip movement, my bladder control, my sexual organs, my reproductive organs; my other leg, flexibility and movement in my back…but these were “highly unlikely”. In another visit he told me that my nerve damage may heal within the next year, but that was also unlikely.
The fear and loss of hope in gaining my strength back I felt in that moment had me weeping. I was lucky that Annie showed up at the end of the appointment, because she was able to ask all of the questions that I was begging to know. I’m also glad that she listened, because I couldn’t. My thoughts were screaming. I felt as though I had lost a future that I wanted so much, a family. I would forever feel trapped in a body that looked like a monster. I already have such bad weight problems that men will never feel attracted to me, but now I felt permanently damaged.
Who could love a creature like me? Who would take care of me if I got sicker? How could anyone not think of me as a burden? What friends would stick by me when I am such a freak of nature? I was terrified. I was so alone. When I left the doctor’s office I cried in the parking lot for a few hours until I could see the road.
I hated myself. I hated everything that I was. I hated everything that I thought I would never have in my future. A while later when I could open up about things, and I was talking to Amanda, I told her about my fears. I felt left behind. I felt as though I was slowing down and the whole world was speeding up. She told me, “Heavenly Father would only slow you down so he could make sure that you see things more clearly. This is a gift.”
That night in my prayers, I thanked Heavenly Father for the gift that he had given me, I asked for his help in seeing what was trying to show me. With a heart broken, tear streaked face, I fell asleep.
The next morning I remembered what Amanda said, I remember the spirit I felt during my prayer, and I put it to the test! I choose to let my guard down on everything good and allow myself to give up the things in my life that bring unhappiness. I am normally such a control freak, making this was such a hard thing for me to do.
When I started to study for my lesson, I was seriously taking note of my trials. I had a list of the things that I found the hardest to get through in my life.
When I looked at this list I realized how much I hated myself for this. I felt disgusting and alone. I knew that I was unlovable. I felt embarrassed by the lack of beauty I had to offer. I was damaged. I am damaged. I felt as though only someone abusive could give me attention.
Then, with the kindest and most gentle whispering from the Holy Ghost, I felt his words warm my heart. I felt these comforting words, “None of these were your fault or choice.” I felt peace, my thoughts slowed down. I was calm. Then another thought came to me, “What you do with all of this IS your choice.”
It is my choice. I own me. There are things in my life that I can’t control, but there are things that I can. Life is too hard to surround yourself with sadness. Love is too heartbreaking to put your hopes in someone that doesn’t yet know how to love. The church is too right to not use my time wisely and weave myself into its teachings. Family is too eternal to not love them. Friends of quality are rare and should be treated as gems. I needed to make an action plan so I would never feel unlovable and worthless again.
These are the reasons why I made the action plan below:
-I started to study blessings. Happiness. Joy. Love. Family…
-I started to pray with an open heart. I started to read my scriptures every day. I started putting church attendance as my top priority.
-I made an appointment with my bishop. I have been living so close to that line of sin for way too long. I kind of lead my life like “I want to be good, but I don’t need to be that good.” I realized that is how people were lost in the “mists of darkness”. Life is dark when you are not focused on the light of the world! Talking with my bishop was embarrassing, hard and I felt as though I have been in those offices way too many times for me to feel “light” again. But I did. Before I even left his office, I felt peace. I KNEW that I was doing what made Heavenly Father Proud. There really is no peace without keeping our promises to our Heavenly Father. We cannot be happy without the atonement. We cannot feel our worth before we become worth something in the eternities.
-I make sure that I take my medicine every day. I have a chemical imbalance, but it’s my choice if I want to feel that way or if I want to feel balanced. I prefer balance in my life. I prefer not to be in pain, whether it is spiritual, mental, or physical. Pain? No thank you!
-I have started to lose weight and become more physically healthy. Even if I am handicapped, I refuse to make things harder on myself. I’m down 26 lbs. It’s slow, but steady!
-I asked all of my family to be there for me. I told them it was ok if they couldn’t, but I needed their help. They are all becoming healthier. We lost over 100 lbs together. They have helped me with doctor’s appointments. We spend more time together. I am learning who they are and loving them. I am letting them in my life. I make sure that my time is spent with them when we both have it available.
-My friends that I hang out with love me. I know they do. They support me. They accept me for my flaws, they wait for me when I fall behind, and they help me smile naturally. They know that I love them and they accept that love. It’s not awkward. It’s perfectly equal.
-I don’t hang out with those that don’t love or respect me. If I feel as though I am being used, I cut off their supply of my time. I stopped investing in those that still don’t know who I am. I want to be known. I want others to see my worth. I am lovable, and if they can’t see it, that’s ok. I’m just not wasting myself or my time on those that can’t appreciate who I am.
-Every morning I wake up and I think ‘Today is going to be a great day’. It works. I even have a motto that I say to myself when I start to doubt my new life. It’s in the heading of this letter, “be calm, love on’. Slow down, open up. There is nothing in this world that is good that isn’t worth sending love its way. I was so afraid of LOVE. It seemed like the worst four letter word out there. When people said it, it seemed like a double edged sword, but it’s not. It’s beautiful. It’s kind. It’s simple.
-Every day in my prayers I am grateful. I share my happiness with my Heavenly Father.
That helps most of all!
I’m learning to fall in love with myself. Not in the conceded way, but in kindness. In the details. In the flaws. In the strengths.
I really do love my life. I’m so thankful for it. I am so blessed. I want to thank those that never expected me to be anything but what I am. Rie. Just Rie.
Happiness waits for everyone to find it. I’ve found that when you follow the above, things become more balanced. Things slow down. But in those times of doubt, if you need to borrow my life raft of ‘be calm, love on’ please do.
I was so grateful to study the subject of optimism but I was nervous, everything that I learned for this talk was so personal, I had no idea how I would actually share it. Interestingly enough, my class was cancelled. There was not enough time for my course to be added in the schedule. I felt a wave of relief. I felt blessed for being directed in this subject of study; because with out being asked to learn about it, I would have never have done it on my own.
Friday, November 11, 2011
25 reasons
(Ultimate Goal Weight)
I have been going to weight watchers with my sisters and my Dad's wife Betty. Overall we have lost over 125 lbs together!! I have lost 31 lbs and I am feeling very motivated to lose more! Our Wednesday night teacher talked to us about a friend of hers that wrote down 25 reasons why she wanted to lose weight. Our teacher said that these reasons helped her friend to get to her goal weight. I want to get to MY goal weight so I thought I would take that challenge as well to have a nice reminder. Here are my reasons:
-I want to be able to play with my nephews more actively. I love being known as fun Auntie Why. I love giggling and chasing and tickling and playing with my 5 gorgeous nephews. Reading, snuggling, and games are all good, but I want to be active with them.
-I want to own and wear clothes that are actually my style. When you are my size, style is more of a desire than a reality. You choose the clothes that fit. You choose the clothes that fit and are the right price. You choose the clothes that fit, are the right price, and what is available in the stores. That really limits what I can buy. I love tights and sweater shirts and dresses. I love knee-high boots. I love horizontal stripes. I love cute underwear. All of these loved treasures are not really in my reach right now.
-Shoe size goes down when weight goes down, not always, but some of the time. I’m hoping that I drop a shoe size when I drop most of my weight. There are not many adorable size 12 shoes in the world that are not made for men or very old ladies.
-Swimming season. Enough said.
-I want to own a LTB. Literally a Little Black Dress. Obviously, Little Black Dresses don’t come in plus size.
-Improve my relationships with my friends. Things like travel, sports, the great outdoors, camping, and all of the other things that would be so much more comfortable if I was healthier.
-I want to feel as beautiful as this girl looks!
-I want to breathe easier!! I hate climbing stairs and being out of breath when I get to the top. It’s so embarrassing walking with friends and I start breathing heavily. I hate that when I’m working out, I try to stifle my breathing so people don’t look at me with those “pity eyes”.
-I care about myself! I want to feel happy, beautiful, feminine, and powerful. I deserve that.
-I have never been photographic. I’m sure that if I lose weight that will help me feel more comfortable in front of the camera. PS. I have untagged many-a-facebook-photos.
-I love traveling. I love flying. I HATE asking for a seat belt extender. It’s the worst!
-Right now I walk around with a cane, if I lost weight, It would help me get around easier. Hopefully without one…
-My mom. I want to be healthier. I want to grow old and love life. I want to be involved with my family as long as possible. I want to show her that I am trying to have the best life I can.
-Self esteem. I just want to feel better about who I am. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I think, “This is not me”.
-Being over weight is hard on your body! I want to hopefully take less medication. Less pain killers, less anti-depressants, and less pain management…LESS CO-PAYS.
-I want to be able to exercise and not just painfully get through physical therapy.
-To never see “those looks” again. I hate that everywhere I go judgmental eyes follow me. Children ask overly-honest questions out loud, people in restaurants judge my every bite.
-Judge as you may…(but please see above) I want fake ninnies!! I have had “C” cups since 5th grade. I want some nice ones that fit me the way I want them to fit me.
-I want to have more romance in my life. Dating more, borrowing a gentlemen’s jacket when it’s chilly, and snuggling up under a blanket with a beautiful fellow without feeling insecure...
-Temple Service, sometimes it’s uncomfortable for me. I want to be able to go and serve without all of the unneeded hassle of my weight.
-I want to be more attractive to men. Real men. Kind ones. Ones that see how beautiful I am inside and out. The good guys are worth being healthy for.
-I hate feeling like I’m intruding on someone else’s comfort. It’s the worst when you can’t scoot over on the couch any further than you already have, same with movie theater chairs, restaurant booths, etc…
-To just be happier. Being healthy is an easy way to bring happiness into your life. It never fails.
-Once my sisters, Betty and I hit our goal weights…we are going on a cruise. OPA!!
-To prove to myself that I can do this!!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Lame back and whatnot
There are so many times that I feel like I’m losing the things that are most important to me but I forget that I am given so many other blessings in its place. I have been fighting against every medical issue I have been having for the past year and it’s just leaving me exhausted and heart broken.
I was focusing on things in my future that I cannot control and forgetting about the blessings I have in my life now. I’m praying that I can start telling the difference between what is important enough to keep in my life and what I can get rid of.
I have been working with a pain management doctor and he wants me to start getting epidurals! That seems so ludicrous to me. I’m really hoping that they will actually help, because I’m running out of options to get rid of the pain.
I also pray that if they don’t I will be able to let it go.
I’m scared. I’m tired of feeling weak. I’m drained from fighting a battle I have no control over. I need to put it in the Savior’s all-knowing hands - I am trying to wait on the Lord. I am so grateful for the atonement. My daily life has, for some reason, forgotten to include it.
I am so thankful for being able to remember that I have that sound tool to use when I am either not in control or shouldn’t be.
I was focusing on things in my future that I cannot control and forgetting about the blessings I have in my life now. I’m praying that I can start telling the difference between what is important enough to keep in my life and what I can get rid of.
I have been working with a pain management doctor and he wants me to start getting epidurals! That seems so ludicrous to me. I’m really hoping that they will actually help, because I’m running out of options to get rid of the pain.
I also pray that if they don’t I will be able to let it go.
I’m scared. I’m tired of feeling weak. I’m drained from fighting a battle I have no control over. I need to put it in the Savior’s all-knowing hands - I am trying to wait on the Lord. I am so grateful for the atonement. My daily life has, for some reason, forgotten to include it.
I am so thankful for being able to remember that I have that sound tool to use when I am either not in control or shouldn’t be.
Get Served.
Guess what!
I got a new calling in my ward. I am very excited about this! I used to be over the Relief Society activities and I had no co-chair, no board, and no room to do the activity in and basically zero attendance. It goes with out saying that I was becoming very frustrated with the way my calling was working out. But, lo and behold, I will now be doing a calling that I think will work just swelling for me. I am over setting up service opportunities for the sisters in our ward. There is no designated day for it, no criteria to follow, no one to try to sync up schedules with, and no one to try to please besides those we serve. I am so grateful for this opportunity! Service really makes everyone’s lives better! Especially with the holidays coming around the corner; there seems to be more softened hearts willing to help and more people being open to receive help.
I am really humbled that my ward created this calling for me. I feel like this is something I can flourish in. I also think this will be an awesome way to bond the Relief Society together. I’m sure you will hear all of the dorky little things I will think of in getting the girls to be involved.
Any ideas?
I got a new calling in my ward. I am very excited about this! I used to be over the Relief Society activities and I had no co-chair, no board, and no room to do the activity in and basically zero attendance. It goes with out saying that I was becoming very frustrated with the way my calling was working out. But, lo and behold, I will now be doing a calling that I think will work just swelling for me. I am over setting up service opportunities for the sisters in our ward. There is no designated day for it, no criteria to follow, no one to try to sync up schedules with, and no one to try to please besides those we serve. I am so grateful for this opportunity! Service really makes everyone’s lives better! Especially with the holidays coming around the corner; there seems to be more softened hearts willing to help and more people being open to receive help.
I am really humbled that my ward created this calling for me. I feel like this is something I can flourish in. I also think this will be an awesome way to bond the Relief Society together. I’m sure you will hear all of the dorky little things I will think of in getting the girls to be involved.
Any ideas?
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The Memory of Zombie
You should try this on your blog page too. What you do is take a random word and make a list of memories or things that you think of when you hear the word. Today my word choice is zombie.
The walking Dead is an awesome post-apocalyptic zombie tv show that stars survivor Rick Grimes, a sheriff deputy, who tries to save a small group of survivors that include his wife, son, and best friend. I own the first season and I LOVE IT!! The second season starts on Halloween and I cannot wait to see it. It is one of my favorite shows and the makeup is really amazing. The plot is even good, which goes against the normal zombie-cheese-fest criteria that most zombie plots follow. (It doesn't hurt that this show stars one of the hawties from the film Love, Actually.)
I have some weird obsession with the zombie. If I had to be a classic monster, zombie would be at the top of my list. I love them. I find the metaphors for them to be limitless. I love that you can take the monster and make them funny, terrifying, sad, or even on the rare occasion relatable. Sometimes I’m overly tired. Sometimes I’m so hungry that food is my only thought. Sometimes all I want to do is fit in with the masses. Sometimes I feel brain-dead. Zombies – I get it.
Woot.com has a daily deal that is normally a very good price. Every day their deal changes and it is only sold with the limit of product that they have on stock. Woot.com also has a t-shirt-woot. Local artists sell their shirts for one day and coming off the profiteer or the person stuck with a few hundred t-shirts in their design. Their shirts are my favorite things to look at. Most are very witty and creative. This one has been a favorite of mine for a while.
Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Pure genius. Need I say more?
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (spoiler alert) may have been a best-selling novel, but the story/writing was nothing to write home about. I did however read it, and love the little pictures that are drawn throughout the book. Yes I am bias because of the zombies that it definitely puts on display, but I also really appreciated the fact that Mr. Wickham was left at the end of the novel, legless and eternally attached to his zombie-bride Lydia. An ending that Jane Austen most likely would have never agreed to, because she is a lady, but I think in her heart of hearts she would have given a nod of satisfaction to the dirt-bag’s ignominious end.
The Zombie Walk downtown. October 25th is Zombie Day and there is normally a Zombie walk somewhere. You dress up and you walk. There isn't much to the event. They normally have a map that you can follow and then people normally hang out at various spots; clubs, Diners, Walmart...
Resident Evil and The Clock Tower. Both are Play Station games that are chuck-full of murderous attacks, creepy music, and hauntingly graphic zombie creatures. I could never play the game because it made me too nervous to actually succeed. I normally sat on my friend Jenny’s couch, holding a pillow close to my face, and watched in terrorized awe as she passed level by level.
Face-Off is a reality tv show where special effect makeup artists compete to be given a very prestigious career and paycheck. Each episode is interesting even to a person that doesn’t really care about that kind of thing, like me. They really are artists. My roomy Logan has a dream to be in special effects make up and she specializes and makeup and prosthetics. Right now she is making a mask mold for a zombie clown. I hate that thing. It is the creepiest creation she has thought of in that very mysterious, yet creative, mind of hers. Logan is a natural talent with these kinds of things. I hope she gets all she desires in a career.
The song Zombie, by the beloved Cranberries, is loved by many. I fell in love with the lyrics that seem to desperately cling to your bones. The bitter-sweet distress of love and war are encrusted jewels that decorate the lyrics of that beautifully written cry. If you love that song you should check out Jay Brannan’s cover. I’m not really a fan of this semi-pitchy singer, but his covers are really brilliant.
The walking Dead is an awesome post-apocalyptic zombie tv show that stars survivor Rick Grimes, a sheriff deputy, who tries to save a small group of survivors that include his wife, son, and best friend. I own the first season and I LOVE IT!! The second season starts on Halloween and I cannot wait to see it. It is one of my favorite shows and the makeup is really amazing. The plot is even good, which goes against the normal zombie-cheese-fest criteria that most zombie plots follow. (It doesn't hurt that this show stars one of the hawties from the film Love, Actually.)
I have some weird obsession with the zombie. If I had to be a classic monster, zombie would be at the top of my list. I love them. I find the metaphors for them to be limitless. I love that you can take the monster and make them funny, terrifying, sad, or even on the rare occasion relatable. Sometimes I’m overly tired. Sometimes I’m so hungry that food is my only thought. Sometimes all I want to do is fit in with the masses. Sometimes I feel brain-dead. Zombies – I get it.
Woot.com has a daily deal that is normally a very good price. Every day their deal changes and it is only sold with the limit of product that they have on stock. Woot.com also has a t-shirt-woot. Local artists sell their shirts for one day and coming off the profiteer or the person stuck with a few hundred t-shirts in their design. Their shirts are my favorite things to look at. Most are very witty and creative. This one has been a favorite of mine for a while.
Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Pure genius. Need I say more?
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (spoiler alert) may have been a best-selling novel, but the story/writing was nothing to write home about. I did however read it, and love the little pictures that are drawn throughout the book. Yes I am bias because of the zombies that it definitely puts on display, but I also really appreciated the fact that Mr. Wickham was left at the end of the novel, legless and eternally attached to his zombie-bride Lydia. An ending that Jane Austen most likely would have never agreed to, because she is a lady, but I think in her heart of hearts she would have given a nod of satisfaction to the dirt-bag’s ignominious end.
The Zombie Walk downtown. October 25th is Zombie Day and there is normally a Zombie walk somewhere. You dress up and you walk. There isn't much to the event. They normally have a map that you can follow and then people normally hang out at various spots; clubs, Diners, Walmart...
Resident Evil and The Clock Tower. Both are Play Station games that are chuck-full of murderous attacks, creepy music, and hauntingly graphic zombie creatures. I could never play the game because it made me too nervous to actually succeed. I normally sat on my friend Jenny’s couch, holding a pillow close to my face, and watched in terrorized awe as she passed level by level.
Face-Off is a reality tv show where special effect makeup artists compete to be given a very prestigious career and paycheck. Each episode is interesting even to a person that doesn’t really care about that kind of thing, like me. They really are artists. My roomy Logan has a dream to be in special effects make up and she specializes and makeup and prosthetics. Right now she is making a mask mold for a zombie clown. I hate that thing. It is the creepiest creation she has thought of in that very mysterious, yet creative, mind of hers. Logan is a natural talent with these kinds of things. I hope she gets all she desires in a career.
The song Zombie, by the beloved Cranberries, is loved by many. I fell in love with the lyrics that seem to desperately cling to your bones. The bitter-sweet distress of love and war are encrusted jewels that decorate the lyrics of that beautifully written cry. If you love that song you should check out Jay Brannan’s cover. I’m not really a fan of this semi-pitchy singer, but his covers are really brilliant.
Monday, September 5, 2011
New additions
The fall season is near and besides the promise of beautiful scenery, comfortable clothes, and awesome sleepy nights when my room is actually cool from the night air, it also has brought some unexpected additions to my life. I have invested in some lovely toys, luxuries, and gadgets that are making my life more comfortable and enjoyable.
I bought a bed. Hallelujah!!! It's a queen-sized comfortable bit of a heavenly cloud that I float upon every night (and sometimes during a daytime nap) into a beautiful, rest-easy, peaceful sleep.
My bed has become the new hangout spot in my apartment. We have recently gotten rid of a television that took up way too much room in our small living room and wasted hours upon hours of needed time to do something else that may actually help me progress in life. It seems that we now waste hours in my bedroom; talking, watching movies, or listening to music on my awesome bed.
Speaking of music...I finally started using iTunes. I cannot believe how long it took me to find a true romance with that exquisite piece of technology. ITunes has become my new obsession…and money pit.
I got a new desktop and desk at a very reasonable price from the ever-monopolizing Wal-Mart. I have a secret, I love Wal-Mart! I know that I’m supposed to hate it, but I can’t, not when it brings so many great toys into my life at prices that I can actually afford…or excuse. With the luxury of owning a desktop my writing has already taken flight and I have started printing chapters of my novel to be edited and reviewed.
My book is something that I want to share with the whole world through publishing so it seems so odd to me how protective I am of my little chapters that are being viewed for the first time. I love them. They are very personal to me. I’m worried that they will not be received well. Either way, It’s the next step and I’m moving forward.
Opposition has also reared its ugly head in the changes of the season.
Two weeks ago I found out that there was nothing that can be offered to me medically and that I need to wait another year to see if my nerve damage will repair itself. Surgery is not an option. Waiting is mandatory and not even a guarantee. I have been having a rollercoaster of emotions about this. The 5 stages of grief have been very prominent in my life since that day at my neurosurgeon’s lab #12, when I sat on a crinkly paper-covered medical bed and sobbed while my angel roommate asked all of the questions that were running through my mind, but I couldn’t choke out. My emotions have been so out of control with this and I have found myself questioning many things in my life. My faith has been wavering in the quality of my future, with normalcies, with dating, with someone being able to love me, with marriage, with children…I have been hanging on though because I know that eternal blessings won’t be held from me because I have a lame leg.
I lost 6 complete chapters to my novel. Amongst finding this out I had many un-ladylike words that flowed out of my mouth and many unneeded tears that came from an angry and exhausted mind. That was a low blow.
The changing of the season has also brought some loneliness. I have missed some friends in my life that have very obviously moved on. I pray that I can move on soon. This part has been the hardest pill for me to swallow. It’s so hard for me to see that someone else’s caring doesn’t reflect my failures or successes.
With the scales equally level holding good and bad changes, I have found that life goes on. My book is flourishing and growing into a strong work of art. My bed has comforted me after a long day of tears and also supported me after a night of laughter and adventure. Music…music, I cannot express my love for the music that has been surrounding my life with its wonderful bounties. It nourishes my soul and I think has been the most healing cast that I have ever used.
As for writing, it is something that I want to do for the rest of my life. It will always be there for me. Writing and I are endlessly attached to eachother.
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