The Heavy Stress of Losing Weight

I’m sorry I haven’t blogged about my weight loss for the past two months. I haven’t wanted to. I’ve been working really hard at dieting, exercising, and focusing on getting in a healthier sleeping pattern. I feel proud of the accomplishments that I’ve done over the past few weeks. I also feel angry.


I’m certain that after the creation of the Earth, Satan said, “And let there be weight plateaus!”

I’ve hit a plateau, violently hit it, I mean with gusto. I am .8 lbs. away from losing 50 lbs. Point. Eight. Pounds!! The past two months I’ve gotten a new account at work. (One I might add that has never been done by anyone in my title before. Yikes!) I’ve moved into a beautiful, with semi-shady neighbors, apartment complex. I’ve unpacked everything. I’ve decorated. I’ve cooked. I’ve cleaned. I’ve started walking and physical therapy with vigor. I’ve done charity work. I’ve started going to a singles ward, again. And through all of this I have gained and lost 3 lbs. over and over again.

I’ve been on this plateau for 2 months now. It’s frustrating as hades. I’m feeling impatient, defeated, and…hungry. But I know in the end things will work out. I will get past my 50 plateau! (And then I’ll burn it down to the ground so I can never be here again.)

A friend of mine posted a quote that I absolutely needed; Earl Nightingale states, “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish. The time will pass anyway.” Right you are, Earl. Time will pass whether or not I am losing weight or gaining or maintaining. Next month I choose to lose.

The same friend was talking to me about the effects soda has on our body. I made a goal to go April without any. I made it to the 18th. Since then I’ve had 3. It happens. Life happens. I feel that now is not the time, I need the help of the delicious bubble calorie free treat. My friend asked me if I thought I had an emotional connection to soda. I laughed and said, “Of course I do. I have an emotional connection to everything that goes in my mouth.” Until I figure out some of the other bad habits in my weight-loss-life, I need the support of a fizzy beverage. Yes, I understand the harm it does. Yes, I know it helps you gain weight. I honestly don’t care right now. Maybe I’ll make it a bigger focus in the future. I guess we’ll see.

When I bought my scale I named it Carol after the tennis player character on Bridesmaids. The only line uttered to her is, “Get your shiz together Carol!” It’s fitting. Carol needs to get her shiz together and so do I. Carol and I have decided that I need to invest in a treadmill, even though my one bedroom apartment is objecting.

I’ll keep you all updated on my fun, and sometimes overwhelming, weight loss adventures. I’m grateful to have kept the weight I lost off. I’m even more grateful to have a refreshed motivation to get moving.

PS. Hash tags drive me ape nuts but my friend Jeff and I verbally say them out of humor and mockery. Example: “hash tag ____ _____ ____” Just to laugh off some annoyance in the past few months I have uttered the following:

#getmeapizza
#doublechin
#fat
#iwantfrieswiththat
#fitnesspalneedstogetagrip
#yourenotreadyforthisjelly
#babyelephant
#getyourshiztogethercarol
#imsothin
#heavyinyourarms
#fatamysbff
#fiberonedidmewrong
#helpme

Things I suck at:

I’ve recently been challenged by a youtube vlogger to make a list of things I suck at. My list of suck is in no way me being modest – It’s fact. I’m sure if you know me you can attest to many, if not all of these. Here we go.

I suck at:

CHANGE- Even if it is good change, I feel completely uprooted.

SPORTS- This is twofold: Playing them-I suck at all sports, all positions, and any type of athletic game. Secondly I suck at watching them- I want to understand what is going on, but I don’t. I normally cheer and/or boo at the wrong parts.

TALKING, WHEN CRYING- I am physically unable to speak if I’m crying. My throat closes off! My voice loses any control of pitch or volume. I normally end up speaking overly loud or not at all. The worst is when someone is waiting for me to speak…

STAIRS- Stupid-nerve-damaged-ridiculous-paralyzed-right-leg, you stop me from doing anything normal! I hate taking one stair at a time. Hate it.

LIFTING- I have T-Rex arms. They cannot lift anything. Case closed.

SURPRISES- Please, do not surprise me. I truly would rather not have a birthday party, dinner party, or any kind of party, than be surprised by one. Small gifts – those are nice surprises. A mass of people being in the know, without me knowing, is an anxiety nightmare.

SPELLING- Deal with it. I have to everyday.

MEMORY- I forget plans, names, faces, people, directions, locations, and all kinds of happenstances. Ever play Scramble on your phone? I do. I try to use the cheat called “vision”. I normally fail because I can’t remember one of the words I need to find. There are only 3 words to remember.

SAYING NO TO CARBS & CHEESE- Why would I? They are the longest relationship I’ve ever had.

SPEAKING IN PUBLIC- I’m a mumbling, stuttering, slurring, might pass out, freak.

TALKING ABOUT MY NOVEL- Apparently if you want to become a writer, people will expect you to be able to talk about things, explain things. Well that doesn’t work for me. I have placed dibs on being one of those “awkward as hell, but still charming in the right circles", kind of writer.

ROMANTIC LOVE- hahahahhahaa. Too bad I’m allergic to cats, because becoming a cat lady is in my cards.

BAD HAIR DAYS- I have called in sick to work because of this. I get hulk-angry.

BEING IN AN UN-AIRCONDITIONED HOUSE- Come on! No one wants to live there…let alone visit there voluntarily.

ESTIMATING SOMEONE’S AGE- You can tell me what year someone was born in and vocalize your inner monologue about what year we are actually in, but it doesn’t matter. No matter if it was 60 years ago or 5, I cannot figure it out. My brain comes back with “HUMAN ERROR”. There is none of that kind of math in here.*points to brain. If you want to figure out someone’s age, I’m not the person to go to. If you try you may get, “1978 subtracted from 2013 – months in the year = the square root of I hate this”.

LISTENING TO VOICE MAIL- Just text me already! This is never going to happen. Every month or so I will do a massive deleting session…just so the stupid icon will leave my phone.

THEORIZING IN CASUAL CONVERSATION- I’m either going to think you are crazy, think you're wrong, or I will tune out. I’m sorry. I am not good in the grey-way of thinking. I’m black and white. Either have an answer or find one or make one.

MATH- please see “estimating someone’s age”

CAR, COMPUTER, AND PHONE PROBLEMS- My life, as I know it, is ending.

TRAFFIC- Sailors have my mouth.

FORGIVING SOMEONE THAT HAS INSULTED OR HURT MY LOVED ONES- I know I need to be better at this, but as it stands, you are basically dead to me.

Now I need to make Things I Rock At post, that way I won’t look like a total jerk and/or loser.

Losing Weight Update-January

From Thanksgiving to the end of December I lost 25 lbs.  I wanted to stay motivated throughout January, and for the most part I did.  There were a few days that I had a sweet-tooth-carb-tooth-cheese-tooth-salt-tooth, but for the most part I ate within my daily calorie zone.  Through January I counted calories more so than following the Weight Watchers plan.  For some reason calorie counting is easier for me, not as stressful.  I’m such an ‘all or nothing’ person that black and white rules seem easier to follow.  I quit Weight Watchers this month because I do just fine with calorie counting, plus quitting will save me the $40 a month fee.

What I’m doing: 

Only one soda a day – It must be a diet/low cal soda
Calorie counting
One cheat day a week...so I stay sane
I’m trying to get ready for work every day.  I feel better about myself and am more conscience of the things I do and eat
Packing snacks for work

In January I lost-drumroll……………….9 pounds!  Between having pneumonia, planning/throwing a baby shower, 3 birthdays, and being in bed with a hurt back, I think I did fairly well.

My total weight lost is 34 pounds; that is approx. 2.8 lbs a week. 

Here’s to February!!   *cheers with a protein shake

2013 GOALS

Write, and rewrite.

Everyday I’m guzzlin’…water.

Calorie counting = weight subtracting.

Make time, and room, for beauty.

Stop my glorification of a busy schedule.

Be grateful. Be prepared. Be aware.

Be flexible. Be passionate. Be me.

Say hello to trust, hope, and confidence.

Help those around me feel loved and wanted.

Remember:

Where I came from

Where I’m going

What I’m worth

What I have

Welcome to the weight watcher hunger games...

I'm giving a belated update for my first month of weight loss.  From Thanksgiving to Christmas I lost 25 lbs.  Not too shabby, my dear Watson.  I'm proud of the weight I lost this month.  Passing up the baked treats and holiday snacks was quite the hurdle for me, but I did it! 
I had one snack a week this month.  I gave everything else to friends, family, and yes, even the trash can.  I'm hoping for an equally successful month in January.  I might not hit the exact number of pounds lost by February 1st, but I hope that my motivation and hard work will have the same stamina.  I'll check in soon!