FHE a.k.a Freakin' Horrible Experiance

Today I went to a Stake Singles Ward FHE activity. I asked my friend earlier today what she was doing, because I was feeling bored and wanted to hang out with her. She said simply "It's Monday, I'll be at FHE". I asked her what we were doing at the activity. She said "desserts or something". I was in!! We car pooled there and I was excited to see what we were doing. The parking lot of the stake building was packed and we took the very last space, since we arrived fashionably late. We walked into the church basketball/Sunday School/Sacrement over flow room, and it was packed. There had to be about 300 people crammed into that room.

I immediately noticed that every one was wearing name tags. "Hello, my name is Justin" "Hello, my name is Jennifer" My friends just smile and say that we should go and get name tags. Squeezing my way to the other side of the room where the lines where, I start to notice that people are not just wearing their name on the front, they are wearing a very interesting name on their back. "Hello, my name was Justin" was sporting a name tag on his back that said "Prince Eric". "Hello, my name is Jennifer" was wearing a word "outside" on her back. I was in a state of major confusion.

When we were in the line I found out by some extremely silly and giggly girls, that we were supposed to have our name on the front, and a special word on the back. We were then supposed to socialize until we found out what our word was (which I found highly entertaining) and then find the opposite word on the other gender (huh, interesting). We would then be each other's date for the rest of the evening (YIKES), and then be able to make a dessert as a couple. (I was terrified.) My low self esteem was I thinking that I was the largest girl in the whole room; I was probably going to get the smallest scared kid or the shallowest cocky one to be coupled with. I was extremely nervous of seeing the future disgust on the unknown prey; I decided that I didn't want to do the game.

My girlfriends were not ok with that, one of them started to write an awful nickname of mine as my name tag sticker. I quickly wrote my plan nick name, Rie, on the sticker and shoved it on my shirt. The girl handing out the "on your back" stickers looked confused when I faced her, but she quickly scribbled my mystery word and my friend placed it on my back.

One of my friends had the word "bottom" on her back. I thought it was really funny, until a very tall handsome stranger walked up to her and gave a nice smile while saying, "I think you are my Bottom". (What a line!!) She giggled and went to the dessert cart with "Mr. Top".

I was left alone but I had fun and socialized and found out that my mystery word was "low". I was interested to find my opposite, but I soon found out why the hand out girl looked so confused when she gave me my mystery word, It was because she had already written the word "low" on another girls back. (But she apparently couldn't remember and so she made a duplicate. My mystery was a duplicate!)

The "other low" girl was very short, blonde, pretty, skinny, and giggly. She saw my name tag and giggled, "Oh, I guess that we are both low".
"I guess so" I said.
"Well, I wonder who Mr. High is, have you seen him?"
"Nope, but now I'm hoping that they're two of Mr. High" I laughed awkwardly.
She looked at me very doubtfully. "Well, I'll see you later." With a dead pan stare of GAME ON, she left.

I had no idea what to do and so I left to stand in line, singly, with my Bottom friend at the dessert table. Bottom asked what happened and I told her. She said that we were going to find my "Mr. High" before "Ms. Low #1" could. I pleaded for her to forget it, but like a true friend she grabbed my hand and "Mr. Top" and the three of us set out into the awful jungle.

Ariel and Eric found each other. Barnes and Noble found each other. Ms. Outdoors found Mr. Indoors.

Low and behold, we found him. He was the smallest kid in the whole group. But he was wearing a huge grin and looked nice so I thought I'd just say hi and get it over with.
"Hi, I'm uhh, well I'm Low" Man that sounded stupid, and slightly depressed.
His face went into a shock of horror. Wide eyed and pale he said, "Oh, well I guess I'm Mr. High, but I already found my low."
I looked across from him and noticed, low #1 standing by him with her smirk smile. "I found him first!" she said while he smiled and got into the dessert line with her.

I was dumbstruck. I had no idea what to do. I tried to bring Bottom and Top with me to the dessert table continuingly telling them that I was ok being the third wheel to their date. But Bottom wouldn't have it. She took me back up to the mystery word table, where there was absolutely no line and asked (really loudly, I might add) for another mystery word for me. The guy who was watching the table said, "We already gave away all of the name tags. Looks like we had more girls than there were boys. You guys can just go and get a dessert." I tried to shy away into a dark corner, but Bottom wouldn't have it. "You made her a duplicate. She doesn't have an opposite out there! Can't you just make up more words??" she basically was yelling at him. He looked really annoyed and replied, "The only other men here that don't have a mystery tag are married. Sorry." he adds to looking at me briefly.

Of course I try to make a joke about this before I start crying, "Well there is a Mr. High out there but he already has a wife, and well uhh, we don't practice polygamy any more." I gave an awkward laugh and the guy didn't even smile. But he did leave the table.

I remain without a date, without original mystery, without a dessert, and known as the girl who tried to joke about polygamy at a stake activity.
I am Ms Low. Number 2.