love and connection

I ran across something last year that changed me personally and socially, I feel for the better. I find that I keep running into moments where I feel I need to share my core change with others. I want to share it with you! I guess it’s more appropriate to say I want to share “her” with you.

I want to introduce Brene Brown. I have never met her, but her words and novels have lifted my spirits and have given me ways to accept myself more completely than I could imagine. She is a qualitative researcher who shares the importance of nurturing authenticity, love and belonging, and the importance of having an irrepressible spirit in our families and communities. In the beginning, her research focused on understanding damage done by shame and how we prevent and repair those wounds. I was transformed from studying her research. I’ve found that her perceptions were true and by understanding and using following we have a much stronger sense of self and of influence by:

Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives.

Knowing our imperfections do not make us inadequate; they are what connect us to eachother and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we’re all in this together.

Connecting to friends; uplifting them, relating, and sharing their own stories to let them know they are never alone.

         I'm trying to apply her findings and ways of wholehearted living into my life. She explains how even with imperfections we are worthy of belonging, worthy of love.  That I am worth love.
           Brene teaches that we surround ourselves with people we can feel connection and worthiness around.We also need to set boundaries with those that want to bring us down.

Brene teaches the difference of Guilt and Shame;

Guilt- I made a mistake

Shame- I am a mistake
Shame often creates feelings of fear, blame, and disconnection. Shame is normal feeling to have, but not all the time. I felt shame constantly. I know Heavenly Father would never allow his children to live in this frame of mind and the Holy Ghost will never validate it. Satan makes this world a discouraging place. Communication and asking for help is frowned upon. WHY? We need some more courageous people to change that! He needs us to change that.

I think it’s important that we reach out when we need help, share our successes/mistakes, and be able to know that there is a safe zone of acceptance/progression. No one relates to perfection. Yes, we all strive for it but that is not how we relate to each other. Where could you connect with someone that is good at everything? We simply wouldn’t.

There is power in our vulnerabilities and flaws. They are what connect us all.

The people I am currently close to are truly inspired by a much higher power. I know I am growing by leaps and bounds with all of the differences and strengths that surround me.

I in no way deem myself as a master of self-acceptance, but her book has helped me on a daily basis since I’ve read it and started to become resilient with shame.

I just hope you all know how wonderful you all are. You are deliciously unique and I am grateful for the strong relationships I have in my life.

I would love it if you are interested in watching Brene Brown’s talk on TED. It’s about 20 minutes and this is what started as what I call my “core change”. I would love to hear what you think about it. (There are a few swear words.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

If you are into reading or have time to read her book, I highly recommend it. It’s called “The Gifts of Imperfection – Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are. A guide to wholehearted living” By Brene Brown Ph.D, L.M.S.W.